As an admittedly existentialist Christian conservative-libertarian (or perhaps a Christian existentialist libertarian-conservative — you decide), it’s clear to me that the U.S. has gone astray. To the leftoids and the feminists and the otherwise morally corrupt, the country is on the absolute correct track — and the terrible economy and failures of Obamacare can easily be attributed to those evil, greedy Republicans and libertarians who value free market solutions. Of course, those of us in the realm of sanity and economic reason know they’re absolutely bat-shit crazy and that the derailment of the greatness of America can be attributed to several factors:
1. The Fourteenth Amendment
Giving automatic citizenship to persons born in the United States has created the problem of anchor babies and Mexican baby daddies stuck here without their green cards, defended by liberal “humanist” activists who claim that our once-great country has no culture of its own and therefore is free to be raped, pillaged, plundered, and subject to any other piracy metaphor you can conjure. The intent of the amendment was innocent enough; its application hostile to American values.
2. The Sixteenth Amendment
The federal government should have never been given the “right” to interfere with individual citizens, which ultimately gave way to the inherently stupid Obamacare legislation that threatens to rend our country’s economy to shreds and heap it in the dumpster with no remorse.
3. The Seventeenth Amendment
Citizens should vote on local affairs and the presidency. Period. Anything more allows the dumber, less informed populace (see: liberals and Christian conservative nutcases) to have a direct influence on the outcome of federal law.
4. The Federal Reserve Act
Even Andrew Jackson, a merciless Democrat who instigated the Trail of Tears massacre, didn’t trust large banks and suggested they would bring about the downfall of America. Imagine the disdain and disappointment and outrage he would have endured had he lived long enough to witness President Woodrow Wilson’s dismantling of the free market. Surely he would have ordered the deaths of thousands more Native Americans in his ensuing temper tantrum.
5. The Nineteenth Amendment
Yes, I realize this will be incredibly unpopular, especially with the ladyfolk. But the honest-to-God difficult truth is that women’s suffrage has ultimately led to the dismantling of the rational voter, the family unit, the reasonable Republican; and has constructed in their place the unprincipled voter, the vitriolic feminist, and the horrifyingly hypocritical Democrat. Like the Fourteenth Amendment, the intentions were innocent, but the road to Hell is paved with uninformed and the irrationally illogical. Women (and men) should be given the right to vote, but only if they have a stake in the economy and the general welfare of America’s standing in the world. Perhaps only land-owners should have the right to vote (including owners of condos but excluding government-assisted Section 8 housing residents). If you’re offended by any of this, then you probably shouldn’t be allowed to vote.
6. The Twenty-Sixth Amendment
See #5 above. If irrational women shouldn’t be allowed to vote, then boys whose voting habits are based on their fathers’ voting habits shouldn’t be allowed to vote, either.
I understand some of these may appear to be in conflict with my freedom-loving, liberty-adoring philosophy, but that is a folly of the ignorant masses. Voting is not a freedom, it is a privilege. Buying a house without government interference, now THAT’S a freedom.