Close the Gates!

expatriation

What do you do when your intended victims catch on to your abusive behavior and attempt to flee? You close the gates, of course. Blame them for their own problems and then prevent their escape. Continue reading

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How to Survive a Government Shutdown

government-closed

Steel yourselves, fellow patriots!  The trumpets have sounded, the beast has been released from his underground lair, and people are mysteriously showing up with tattoos of triple-6’s pasted conspicuously on their foreheads.  The government, guardian of the underworld itself, has shut down and the gates to hell have opened, spewing their dungeoneering denizens into our atmosphere like the CO2 from Al Gore’s all-natural beef farm. Continue reading